Monday, May 11, 2009

On Intimidation.

It is invented. Derived from insecurities, uncertainties, and imagination. Intimidation has become somewhat of an issue in my life.

I believe healthy intimidation is necessary and inevitable. However, allowing it to get the best of you is not the role of intimidation. I’ve been intimidated by many individuals including higher authorities, my elders, some of my peers, and even guys. I believe it is something natural, but that sometimes, it can ruin or not allow something great to happen.

Have I ever been told that I was intimidating? Yes. Does it feel good? No.

For the most part, I equate intimidation with power and authority. While I do believe this, and in some ways it can be good, I do not allow intimidation get the best of me. Understanding that the only reason I am intimidated is because I have made myself feel that way. I have either placed someone on a pedestal or I am afraid of where things are going and/or can go (in professional and personal relationships). If I allowed intimidation to ruin what was in store for my life, I do not believe I would be where I am today and I definitely would not have met some of the most amazing people on this earth, and call them my friends.

When I look at myself in the mirror I see Cyndi Munson. I see the same young girl that had zero self esteem in the earlier parts of junior high while seeing endless potential because she decided to work hard. Anything that I have accomplished or will accomplish in life is based on hard work, education, and an extraordinary support system. It is not based on the need for power or prestige. Although no matter what any of us do in life, those things may come along. That, like intimidation, is natural, but it’s worth getting to know which of the above is being pursued. I want to change society by helping people. I want to provide for my family. I want to help my neighbors and community members. I want to be an active, productive citizen. I want to make my father proud. I do not want to be intimidating and do not think that I am.

Remember when you are faced with a person or situation and it seems “intimidating”, know that you can overcome it. Remember that it isn’t worth allowing it to get the best of you. No individual would be faced with a difficult person or situation if it couldn’t be handled. You invent unhealthy intimidation. Healthy intimidation is there, and it will continue to exist, but great things can and will blossom if you keep it as that… healthy.

If you feel that I am intimidating, let’s talk about it. I want to know how you define it. Because the way I define it, intimidating would not be something I would describe myself as.

Please share your comments. Thanks!
Cyndi

2 comments:

  1. I completely understand where you are coming from, and when you are such a caring and compassionate person, such as yourself, it can be very frustrating to be labeled as intimidating. To me it is all misperception, and I have experienced this first hand as well. Most of the time people look at you (Cyndi) and think that you “have it all together” which is another throw away statement that I hate because NO ONE has it all together! I have even heard that from girls I have dated, but in the end I have just decided that was an excuse for something else.

    Bottom line: success, ambition, & motivation = misperceived intimidation

    While you are not be intimidated by those characteristics, other insecure people (as you stated) are intimidated, and that is not your battle to fight! I completely understand and can share in your frustration.

    - Nick Gray

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  2. Maybe people find you intimidating because you don't call them back, thus influencing insecurities, imagination, and uncertainties to arise. Why does she not call me back? Am I no longer worthy of her grace? Did I do something wrong? It is clear she communicates with others, why not me? From my perspective, this all can be circumvented easily. Simply reciprocate an effort toward effective communication and you will no longer be viewed as intimidating, at least from me.

    Love your blogs! Give me a CALL sometime!-DHH

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